While we can’t always point to our childhood for answers, our childhood experiences contribute to shaping how we view ourselves, others and the world around us. If you are anything like me, unresolved wounds from those formative years can manifest as self-doubt, fear or even a persistent sense that ‘something’ isn’t quite right.
Traumatology is becoming more mainstream thanks to experts like Dr Gabor Maté and Dr Bessel van der Kolk, and while I feel the word ‘healing‘ is overused, we can certainly rewrite our stories as adults. While language can be limiting and a barrier at times, it can inspire, soothe and guide us toward emotional recovery. If you love words as much as I do and struggle with the past, here are 10 of my favourite quotes that speak to the heart of healing childhood wounds. I hope these quotes will remind you of your strength, resilience and capacity for growth, as they have certainly provided solace for me when needed.
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.“ – Brené Brown
I could have included several Brené Brown quotes, but I chose this one purposefully. In my experience, shame is the most destructive emotion we feel as humans. Shame is often at the root of people never seeking help. While they are linked, shame is far more toxic than guilt. Here’s how I differentiate the two in my mind:
Guilt: “I’ve done something wrong.”
Shame: “I am wrong.”
If shame is holding you back from seeking the help you need to move forward, all you need to take is the first step. When you begin talking to trusted people about your story, you start realising shame is far scarier as a concept in the mind than it is in reality.
“Childhood trauma does not come in one single package.“ – Dr Asa Don Brown
“Your trauma is valid. Even if other people have experienced ‘worse,’ that doesn’t mean you have to discount your own pain.“ – Daniell Koepke
My feelings regarding the above quotes are linked. I learned about the different types of trauma as part of my embodied processing certification. What I realised is that trauma is part of the human experience. Of course, people experience trauma on a spectrum, but there is no need for comparison. Trauma is also highly subjective, which means two people can live through the same experience. One person may never think about what happened again, yet the other is profoundly impacted.
With my embodied writing work and as I’ve helped people with embodied journaling prompts, the more I realise how toxic comparison can be. Just because what you are feeling wouldn’t be classified as acute trauma doesn’t mean you haven’t been impacted. The more I understand about developmental trauma, the more I realise it’s often the little things we don’t think are ‘negative‘ that build up over time. As the founders of embodied processing from The Centre for Healing often say, what didn’t happen also often leaves its mark on people.
“It’s not about ‘fixing‘ yourself. It’s about discovering who you were before the world told you who to be.“ – Glennon Doyle
I respect Glennon Doyle’s ability to be brave and say what needs to be said at any moment. Wherever we grow up, we are influenced by everything around us. I remember being an easygoing kid who loved sports and had no care factor for much outside of myself up until about 5. As we grow and our gaze becomes more outward-focused, we change because survival is at the heart of every animal, including humans. We all want to belong, but for whatever reason, some of us always feel like we don’t belong.
My healing journey started ‘properly‘ at around 30 (for context, I’m 37 as I write). Running away was no longer working for me. A mentor of mine often says that so much of this work is peeling back the layers rather than adding anything to our lives. To me, this journey is very similar to peeling an onion. There are layers on top of layers on top of layers, and eventually, one hits the core.
“Healing is an art. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes love.“ – Maza Dohta
I love this quote because it reminds me that healing doesn’t look any fixed way. Explore whatever works for you: writing, drawing, yoga, strength training, qigong, meditation or something else. Healing also isn’t an overnight job; it never ends. There is always more to explore and uncover. One thing that has surprised me is the critical role of community and connection. I am so used to doing everything mostly alone. We must feel safe and supported to heal.
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.“ – Maya Angelou
As Brené Brown says, not everyone deserves to hear our story. Personally, I believe in writing our story for healing purposes, first and foremost, for our own eyes. There is something powerful about having the ability to write our truth, see it, feel it and then destroy it (if we choose to).
“After all, who isn’t a survivor from the wreck of childhood?“ – Nicole Krauss
I’ve included this quote because it makes me laugh and reminds me that no childhood is perfect. Everyone has something (many of us have more than one ‘thing’). Not everyone chooses to work on their something, but we all have something; it’s part of being human.
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.“ – Nelson Mandela
This quote reminds me that people often think a healthy nervous system never experiences anything besides peace and calm. I am no expert on the nervous system (I love Irene Lyon’s work if you’re keen to learn more). Still, I know enough to understand that a healthy nervous system is resilient and capable of moving through the sympathetic and parasympathetic states as needed.
“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.“ – Deepak Chopra
I’ve shed many things on this journey, particularly people. The more I’ve learned about my true nature and what I am willing and unwilling to tolerate, letting go of people has happened organically. While it hasn’t always been easy, I’ve gained much more than I’ve lost. I’m heading into the second half of my life with a solid understanding of who I truly am rather than who I am expected to be.
“Healing is a daily event. You can’t ‘go somewhere’ to be healed; you must go inward to be healed.“ – Nicole LePera
Nicole LePera was my entry into the world of healing, and I’ve featured this quote in this piece because it speaks to me. I’d be lying if I said that when I embarked on this journey or when things have felt hard, I haven’t wished for a quick fix or magic pill. I have. It doesn’t exist. If it did, I (and many others) would have found it by now. But there is truth in this quote, even if the truth isn’t always convenient or wanted.
If you want to delve further with using writing as a well-being tool with 1-on-1 support, explore my Soulful Steps Pilot Program. I have 2 places left as 1 is already gone. A 50% discount is available for a limited time only and you can secure your spot in 2024 for a 2025 start if you wish to. You are welcome to reach out with any questions you may have, and I’m happy to schedule a Zoom call to see if we are a good fit: info@sarahcannata.com
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