5 spiritual boundaries for personal growth 

By Sarah Cannata

When I refer to spiritual boundaries, I am not pointing towards anything to do with religion. In the last 12 months, I’ve been learning more about energy and its impacts on us as spiritual beings. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. The more I have investigated energy, frequency and vibration, the more I understand the importance of protecting myself from taking on other people’s energy or ‘stuff’. As they say, we cannot pour from an empty cup.

Most women I come into contact with are nurturers. They give far more than they receive as caregivers, businesswomen, mothers, sisters, and so on. Identifying and enforcing your spiritual boundaries are crucial in avoiding burnout and having a deeper connection with yourself. Today’s fast-paced world, where we are switched on 24/7, doesn’t tend to invite deeper connection and self-awareness. I speak from experience when I say the healing journey can be scary because many things organically fall away to pave our next season of growth. Here are 5 of my non-negotiable spiritual boundaries – please feel free to borrow whichever boundaries speak to you.

Protecting your energy levels at all costs

I’m an introvert, which means I build and sustain energy through solitude. You may be an extrovert or an ambivert. These are all labels. What matters most is understanding what energises and drains you most. I feel like a sponge; I often absorb everything around me. We are all different, but we must prioritise protecting our energy. You may feel either energised or drained by:

  • Certain situations
  • People
  • Environments

Discerning how you invest in yourself to refill your cup is essential. Set your non-negotiables. For example, having:

  • A morning routine that means you’re starting your day positively
  • A wind-down ritual at the end of the day so that you can maximise your sleep, as well as your rest and digest states
  • Set times of the day to journal or meditate for a few minutes

There is no one-size-fits-all here. Experiment and see what works best for you and your lifestyle.

Enforcing the ‘power of the pause’

I’ve engaged in several personal development courses. In one course, I learned about the power of the pause. This has helped me greatly in terms of not automatically saying yes to things on the spot and then regretting my decision later. Granted, this is a practice, and I have a few words on hand for such situations, including:

“Thanks for the invitation. Let me get back to you.”

“Thanks so much. I need to check my schedule and circle back.”

I find saying no hard. This may be gutless, but it’s easier for me to say no in writing than face-to-face. Then again, I express myself better in writing than verbally full stop. When considering an invitation, I mentally take myself to the morning of the event (whatever it is) and tune in to what I’d be feeling. That gives me my answer.

Treating quiet time like an appointment or important work meeting

Thinking or feeling anything is hard when we’re wrapped up in our 24/7, fast-paced world. Deciphering our feelings and thoughts as opposed to those of others is also more challenging. And if you’re getting sucked into the vortex that is social media, it’s so easy to slip into comparison mode. Comparing yourself to others—whether it’s their success, relationships, or spiritual practices—can stifle personal growth. How? Because it takes your attention away from yourself and what’s within your control and makes you outward-focused.

Carve out 5 or 10 minutes (or however long is manageable for you) to be still with yourself, your thoughts and the physical sensations of your body. The more you tune in, the easier this gets. Guard your personal time – remember, self-care is essential – even more so when most of your day is scheduled. If you are dissociated, working with someone like myself or someone else experienced in somatic work can be helpful. And don’t worry; being unable to feel anything is common and can become your reality for several reasons.

Understanding that time is your most valuable asset

People think money is our most valuable asset. It’s not. You can find ways to earn more money, and in some ways, you can also buy time through outsourcing (think buying readymade meals or doing business tasks you don’t need to do). We can’t buy more of however much time we have on this planet. I understand that we can’t live each day thinking it’s our last, but we must be aware that life isn’t forever. If there’s one commonality we all share, it’s that one day, we will no longer be here. I hope to leave the world in a better place when I exit than when I entered, but I can’t do that if I spend most of my day doing things out of obligation rather than desire and genuine passion.

Saying no to anything that feels like self-betrayal

Ever feel triggered or uncomfortable in your body after agreeing to something you don’t really want to do? That’s your body’s way of communicating with you. The trick is we have to listen. Our body holds immense wisdom, but as a sweeping generalisation, our society values intellect more than honouring ourselves and our boundaries. Whenever we are out of alignment, we feel it. In my experience, when we don’t listen to our body and its attempts to warn us we are betraying ourselves, we are more likely to experience feelings like resentment, anxiety and burnout. Women are often people pleasers, and saying no can be challenging – even more so in certain situations. The next time you know something is a no, ask yourself what the cost of saying yes is. Anything that harms you mentally or physically is too expensive.

Spiritual boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges. Personal development and growth don’t just happen. We must be aware of what we want and courageous enough to chase our desires. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. While identifying and enforcing boundaries can be challenging, your growth depends on it. Nothing grows in our comfort zone. Remember, growth is a journey, and while I don’t believe there is ever an end point, there is much to learn from it.

I was recently interviewed about my journey with embodied writing, embodied processing and creating Storytelling for the Soul by MysticMag

Success message!
Warning message!
Error message!